Friday, October 18, 2013

The Sensitive Child

Well I still haven't given up on blogging...yet. It is challenging to find the time to actually blog though. It seems as though it takes me half a day to actually get something written to actually blog because I can only type for 1 minute here and 3 minutes there. lol I guess that will just be the norm for me for the next 18+ years. ;)

So today I have more of a question to throw out there. How should one raise a son that is very sensitive and that takes everything to heart? Jeremiah, my 7 year old has, and probably always will be on the sensitive side. When the boy was like 6 months old all his Aunt Tammy had to say was "butter beans" (I have no  clue why those words would set him off. lol) and the poor baby would be in tears. Even after he was calmed down and he was distracted to much happier things I  could see him look off into the distance and start to get a big pouty face again. You just knew he was reliving the whole "butter beans" incident in his little head.

 I find myself almost in a daily struggle to find a balance on teaching him that it's ok to have strong feelings about things but yet to teach him not to be a "pansy" so to speak. Jeremiah is by far no pansy, in fact he does an awesome job "holding his own" when it comes wrestling and fighting with his brother. Although if you say something that he feels is sad or hurtful then he tends to internalize it and seems to never stop thinking about it. For example, a few years ago, we had some friends over to the house one evening and after they had left Jeremiah said their son (who was around the same age as him) had told them how he had a baby brother but that he was in heaven now. Of course my curious little man had about 100 questions about all that. He wanted to know how a baby could die, cause in his mind everyone was/is supposed to live till they are "old people". So we explained to him that when babies are first born their necks are really weak and their heads are really heavy. We told them that the baby had rolled over and his neck just wasn't strong enough to move his head so he could breath. He cried and said how sad that was and how bad he felt for his friend who didn't have his little baby brother anymore.

Well time went on and it was about a year and a half later we had another little baby. Both the boys loved their new little sister to pieces. The first day I came home with little Charlotte I noticed Jeremiah would hover over his sister no-stop. If I put her down for a second..he was right there watching her. I just took it as he was so excited about her that he just couldn't get enough of her. Later that evening as we were tucking the boys into bed Jeremiah asked me "Mom, were is baby Charlotte going to sleep tonight?" I told him she would be in the pack-n-play right next to our bed. His eyes began to fill up with tears that quickly began streaming down his face. Here I thought he was just over excited and over tired from the busy day. I told him not to worry and that she was here to stay so he would see her tomorrow. His response was "But mom, what if she rolls over and can't breath while your sleeping at night?" What normal 5-6 year old thinks and worries about such things a year and a half after they first heard about something like that?

He is also the type that when reading stories for school will often break into tears. The other day he was reading about Black Beauty and when the horse was sold to a new owner...that was enough to send him into tears. My dilemma is how do I teach him that it's a good thing that he is as caring as he his, but yet on the same hand not to wear his heart on his sleeve all the time?

I love the fact that he is sensitive to others feelings. I always say he is going to make an awesome husband one day cause he is so thoughtful and sensitive to others feelings. Yet on the flip side of that I hate to see my 7 year old stress and worry about things that shouldn't concern his little mind. Does anyone else out there struggle with this, and how to you handle it?

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